Adventures In Parodyverse: Hallowed Halls Part 1

Adventures in Parodyverse - Hallowed Halls Part 1

    Vicky Cameron rushed into her office and found Jack already there. "Sorry," she quickly and hurriedly apologized, "I had to stop at the DMV on the way. It was a disaster area."

    Jack resisted the temptation to ask if she was updating her learner's permit. Further distracting him from the joke was the fact that Vicky was covered in dust. "What happened?"

    "I just told you, the DMV is a disaster area, duh!" Vicky sighed impatiently and placed her laptop on her desk. Then she noted Jack's confusion and decided to explain further. "Some super-villain crashed the DMV, and some new lame super-hero showed up and nearly got herself killed. So I used the distraction and shot the super-villain's dumb ass."

    "You killed someone?" Jack stood suddenly.

    "No, I shot...his...ass! Pay attention." She took off her jacket and mumbled something about it being ruined, and threw it behind her desk. "He whined and cried a lot about the pain till the paramedics hauled him away. And this new super-hero, she was kinda down about screwing up. I felt so bad for her I talked to her for a bit and she sobbed on my shoulder."

    "That was sweet of you," Jack noted.

    "Jack, she started doing the super-hero thing because of the Parody War," Vicky said, suddenly turning serious. "She said she used to keep her powers secret but she was afraid all the big heroes would be wiped out and those like her would be all that's left. It left me thinking...what if she's right?"

    Jack bit his lip and sighed. "Things would change. Especially for us."

    "Yah." Vicky slowly walked around the maze of an office and sat at her desk, leaned back. "She was so new she didn't even have a name yet. She was wearing jeans and a black bandana with eyeholes cut into it for a mask."

    He couldn't help but laugh at that image. His smile quickly disappeared when Commissioner Graham entered the office.

    "We have quite an unusual situation on our hands," Graham said. "And I think you two would be ideal for it."

    "Oh?" Jack asked.

    Graham dropped a file on Jack's desk. "Blackmail ring that seems to be run out of a school. Blackmailing public officials, celebrities. Even cops. Could be run by a student, or a teacher, but no one's talking." He looked directly at Vicky when he concluded with, "We need to get someone on the inside."

    Vicky noticed then that Graham and Jack were both staring at her. "Hey...wait a minute--" She shook her head slowly. "High school sucked for me."

    "How's that possible?" Jack asked. "Someone like you? You had to be popular."

    "I was, kinda." Vicky shrugged. "But the teachers hated me, my grades sucked, and I kept getting hit on by jerks."

    "In that case," Graham said with a wide smile, "You have incentive to solve this quickly. Get to work, guys." He simply strolled out of the office at that point.

    "I really hate him sometimes." Vicky angrily shoved a book across her desk.

---

    "Nobody's gonna be fooled," Vicky complained as she stood in the living room of her apartment wearing jeans, old sneakers, and a black hooded sweatshirt.

    "You always dress like you could be in high school," Jack pointed out as he waited for her patiently near the door. He drove her there for her to change - while his assessment was essentially correct, Vicky's usual clothing was much too new, polished looking, and expensive to be low profile in a high school.

    "Look at me, do I honestly look like I'm in high school?"

    "If you count seniors, then yes," Jack noted. "Remember, when I first saw you I thought you were someone's kid hanging out in the office."

    "No offense, but that's because you're old." She emphasized that last word so it was indeed offensive.

    "You are a little too well-defined for a high schooler," he accepted. "But you can still pass for one."

    "What does that even mean?" Vicky asked, sounding unsure if she was supposed to be insulted.

    "It means that walking you do pays off," Jack quickly replied with a compliment. He meant to add that her chest was larger than an average high schooler too, but he decided that wouldn't help.

    Unfortunately Vicky followed his eyes and realized that's where his next comment was to be aimed - she was very smart, after all - and she smiled slyly. "Oh, Jack, this has so much blackmail potential. You'd better hope I never need a favor."

    Jack looked flustered for a moment, and opened his mouth to say something, but instead he remained silent and leaned against the door to wait for the signal to leave.

    Vicky approached him and tugged at his sleeve. "Yo, Jackie, I was just kidding. C'mon, let's go get this shit over with."

    "You're not upset?" Jack asked her.

    "Nah." She waved her hand dismissively. "The Commish has bigger boobs than I do. If you start looking at his, then I'll be upset."

    "Ugh." Jackie shook his head, covered his face, and led the way to the car, trying to purge that picture from his mind as quickly as possible.


---

    Vicky took a deep breath as the car stopped outside a local high school. She looked at the school through the passenger side window, and then at Jack. "I guess this is where the phrase 'old enough to be my dad' comes into practical use," she said.

    "I'm not that old," Jack protested.

    "I know, but you can pretend to be if anyone asks who dropped me off." Vicky grabbed a mountain climber's backpack from the back seat and opened the door. "Cya, Jack...wish me luck."

    "Hey Vicky," Jack called after her as she exited the car. She stuck her head back in to hear what he had to say. "Solve this one quickly so we can move onto something better."

    "Yah." Vicky nodded and smiled, and then closed the car door. She raced across the lawn and disappeared into the front doors of the school.

    The first stop was the principal's office. That brought some painful flashbacks for Vicky, but she tried her best to swallow them down as she walked through the door labeled 'Main Office'. She entertained herself by feeling amused that educators still lacked the imagination to come up with a better name for that office.

    She wasn't at all shocked at the first comment she heard when she approached the tall desk just inside the office.

    "Shouldn't you be in class?"

    Vicky gave the large woman who asked her that question a big sunny smile. "I'm Vicky Cameron. Principal Henry is expecting me."

    The woman looked like she didn't believe Vicky, until she checked the book on her desk. A look of surprise came over her. "I'll tell her you're here," she said curtly. "Have a seat."

    "No problem," Vicky said, and as she turned away she mumbled under her breath, "Fatass." It was just enough to be perceptible, so the woman behind the desk couldn't be sure she said it.

    Vicky sat down on a bench and placed the backpack next to her. She was careful not to lean back - the wall behind her didn't look all that clean and she didn't want any crud in her hair. It was only a minute or two before the principal came out but it seemed like an eternity with that fat woman staring at her over the desk once in a while.

    "Hi," Vicky greeted principal Elenor Henry. She offered a handshake. The principal didn't take the bait.

    "Let me make this clear," the principal said as she led Vicky into her office and shut the door. "I don't want you here. The board of education went over my head and asked for help from the police. I wanted to handle this internally. So I want you to wrap up your little investigation quickly and get out of my school. Is that clear?"

    "Crystal." Vicky replied, rolling her eyes briefly. "Now how about my class schedule?"

    The principal frowned and dug through the papers on her desk, producing a small pink slip. She handed it to Vicky dismissively.

    "Thank you." Vicky quickly and quietly retired from that office to escape from the flashbacks...some from the past, and some from the immediate present...and took a deep breath to calm herself once she was out in the hallway.

    She checked her schedule carefully. Apparently she was supposed to be in English Lit almost ten minutes ago, and she figured she shouldn't try the I'm-so-late-I-may-as-well-cut strategy on the first day. She took a deep breath and headed toward the stairway.

    Someone blew past her and knocked her bag off her back so it dangled on her arm. It was a large man who didn't belong in the school, and that alarmed her. But then he saw a woman with dark hair skid around the corner on the slick floor. Skid, but in a sure-footed way maintaining balance at all times. She wore black jeans and a red and black shirt, and appeared to be carrying a stick.

    No, it wasn't a stick, it was a sheathed sword. Suddenly the woman was familiar to her again as she breezed by. The Psychic Samurai was still such an enigma...as she ran past, even the wind seemed cooperative with her - unlike the man who raced by a second before so destructively, barely a breeze was felt as the Psychic Samurai passed by. She ran on that slick floor like an expert hockey player skated on ice, without wasting a single movement.

    It was no mystery that she was able to catch up with the larger and clumsier man. He burst through an emergency exit only a half second before the Psychic Samurai slipped through the slowly closing door without even touching it.

    Vicky raced outside behind them, only clumsier as she collided with the closing door and nearly got her backpack strap stuck. By the time she got a good view of what was going on it was over. The large man lay on the ground, groaning, and the Psychic Samurai stood over him. Her sword was still sheathed.

    The Psychic Samurai turned around and looked directly at Vicky, nodding almost imperceptibly. That's when Vicky finally approached her.

    "Do you like...need the cops or anything?" Vicky asked quietly.

    "No, thank you." The Psychic Samurai kneeled next to the downed man and quickly searched all of his pockets. She produced a large wad of cash from his jacket, then glanced at Vicky for a moment, and then shoved the cash into her own jeans.

    "Wait a sec." Vicky frowned. "This is some sort of deal gone bad, isn't it?"

    Chiaki Bushido rose to her full height, which wasn't much even compared to Vicky's small stature. "I suppose you can call it that. He was a paid informant, and he chose to take payment without supplying the requested information."

    "Please," the man pleaded weakly, "They'll kill me."

    "Is he going to be okay?" Vicky asked.

    The Psychic Samurai narrowed her eyes and coldly replied, "He chose his own path."

    "How can you say that?" Vicky protested. "How can you just...not care, and write him off? I thought you were a hero."

    "What will you have me do? Move him into my home and protect him with my life? The world is full of harsh realities, Vicky. If I am this hero you see, I can save many who deserve it with the time and effort it takes to protect this one."

    Vicky's almost wide-eyes optimism vanished as she saw the truth in that. She looked down sadly and whispered, "Yah, I know. Doesn't mean it doesn't suck, though."

    The Psychic Samurai looked down at the fallen man, her hands clasped together with the sword between them. "I suppose it does," she whispered. "Don't get me wrong. I see this sort of thing as a horrible waste. But it's beyond my power to repair."

    That's when Vicky suddenly smiled. "Y'know, he's on school grounds. He probably has a criminal record. That's felony tresspassing. It carries some nice, safe jail time."

    That gave Chiaki a slight smirk. "Perhaps today a new hero is born." With that, she turned and walked back in the direction she came from, only this time around the school instead of through it.

    Vicky didn't even see the school security guard sneak up behind her until he tapped her on the shoulder and then took the pink piece of paper from her hands.

    "Skipping English Lit, eh?" He produced a paper pad from his shirt pocket and opened a pen. "I think you've just earned yourself detention."

    "Yah, this brings back memories," Vicky sighed to herself.


TO BE CONTINUED?

-- Story written and copyrighted (C) 2007 by Jason Froikin, and may not be
-- reprinted without permission.
-- Yuki Shiro designed by Jason Froikin, based on designs by Masamune Shirow
-- Liu Xi Xian and the Psychic Samurai are original design by Jason Froikin
-- Lara Night is an original creation by Jason Froikin

Post By Anime Jason Sun Apr 15, 2007 at 11:51:15 am EDT	Subject Adventures In Parodyverse: Hallowed Halls Part 1

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